I Love This
7
I Hate This

Thursday, March 11, 2010

151 comments
And please, before anyone gets up in arms about this, read the guy's contact me page. And then check out his 'retarded emails' where he posts hate mail along with their name and email address.
 

What Say You (151)

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Captain Canuck wrote at 9:14pm Mar 10
Lol, well done.
Also Oatmeal is retarded because of all that scrolling down
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Anthony wrote at 9:48pm Mar 10
But I _like_ The Oatmeal! And I like your comics! You even sent me one. :) It's on my wall now, directly above my Book of Kells poster.

Don't make me chooooose between two excellent sources of internet, er, excellence. :p

Can't we all just get along? Or, in the words of Marge Simpson, "let's none of us have a cow!"

Aight.
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Oatmeal wrote at 10:08pm Mar 10
Finally, somebody else who hates Oatmeal.
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Ray wrote at 10:09pm Mar 10
Uhm, you're really not going to like the fallout from this one. And the first two panels were good, the last two weren't funny at all, merely mean.

Of course, I may just be a retard (really, I probably am, lots of evidence for that). I started reading you first, but frankly The Oatmeal makes me laugh more often than you do.
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yo wrote at 10:09pm Mar 10
I used to be a fan of both this and The Oatmeal as well. Until, like the author of this comic, I read their contact me page and retarded email page. Turned me right off.

Thank you for opening my eyes :)
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;P Anon wrote at 10:40pm Mar 10
Please don't make another one of these... I read your comic cause I like the style and you emulated the oatmeal just a little too well:( <3s for apokalips being its awesome self again! You ROCK!
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A Nony wrote at 10:45pm Mar 10
Jealous of someone's book deal, are we?
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marcus wrote at 10:50pm Mar 10
Oh, wow, that's funny, and the drama on top of it! Perfect!
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s wrote at 11:11pm Mar 10
finally a good comic
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HelenMirrensMerkin wrote at 12:10am Mar 11
darn - was kinda hoping it'd end up with a gOatsemeal panel; xkcd has goatkcd
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Roshan wrote at 12:11am Mar 11
Wow, panels 3 and 4 are really just mean. Also, this is all really rich from someone who made a Google-autocomplete joke just two comics ago.
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Constructive Criticism wrote at 1:05am Mar 11
How to make Apokalips: 1) Take a funny concept 2) Butcher the delivery
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Kristin wrote at 5:21am Mar 11
Hahaha trueeee shit!
Kinda mean but hey we're all bitches deep down inside :p
I still love the Oatmeal though!
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random subscriber's opinion wrote at 5:40am Mar 11
wow... what a hater
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Ira wrote at 5:54am Mar 11
The what?
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3!LL wrote at 6:16am Mar 11
How to make me never return to your site:
Bash another webcomic.
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Eugen wrote at 6:17am Mar 11
I like you both. I've laughed out loud at both of your "stuffs". WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST... GET ALONG? na na na na naaaa
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steve wrote at 6:33am Mar 11
Oh dear... resorted to attacking another comic, have we. Poor show, bad judgement. I won't be back.
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sad face wrote at 6:44am Mar 11
oatmeal > apokalips

good day sir,
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Mike Gioia wrote at 6:45am Mar 11
i wouldn't call it "resorting", steve... are certain things not open for critique / lambasting?
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LULZ wrote at 6:56am Mar 11
zomg I'M NEVER COMING BACK BECAUSE YOU MADE FUN OF AN SEO WHORE THAT MAKES SIMPLE MEME COMICS APPEALING TO THE MASSES!!!!! :( :( :(

laugh or go back to oatmeal's simplicity and arrogance
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Ian Cheong wrote at 7:18am Mar 11
Well done. Oatmeal is overrated.
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bob wrote at 7:19am Mar 11
fuck man why can't i be a pterodactyl?
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Cesar wrote at 7:32am Mar 11
I read you both, and I'm pleased to say I'm very glad to do so.
I just didn't get the negative comments to this comic. I guess we are supposed to have the right to say whatever you want on the net, including making fun with someone else. I don't think readers should be worried about My Apokalips making fun of The Oatmeal. This just means we will soon read a funny joke about My Apokalips on The Oatmeal.
Please, find something else to worry about and enjoy the comics!
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Cenk wrote at 7:33am Mar 11
This is only funny because it looks like it is in fact an Oatmeal comic.
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Jake wrote at 7:44am Mar 11
I loved the comic, and I love Oatmeal (the food and the web comic). A lot of you are taking this to a new level of internet-crazy. It is not like you are married to the comic, it is OK to read them both even if the illustrators don't like each other.
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jim wrote at 7:48am Mar 11
what are you 10 years old? i chuckle at your comic sometimes.. i also chuckle at the oatmeal sometimes.. this just sounds like you're jealous... it isn't even that funny.
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:W wrote at 7:52am Mar 11
I don't understand why people who are commenting are so offended...

I mean, they're pointing out the faults of a guy who is arrogant and writes shitty comics. He's not a burn victim, a saint, or an important person, he's an asshole who has nothing better to do except pretend he's a grammatical genius and come up with reasons for punching dolphins. Since when was it not ok to make fun of assholes?
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Blind Follower wrote at 8:02am Mar 11
I've never heard of The Oatmeal, but that guy can suck my balls!
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John wrote at 8:02am Mar 11
Jealousy will get you nowhere.
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har wrote at 8:06am Mar 11
Now if you could only make a satirical comic detailing how to make your own comic even remotely funny you'd be golden.
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Grace wrote at 8:09am Mar 11
Sure, the *style* is imitable. Yet, it's the dripping sardonic humor and wit behind Oatmeal's comics that make it funny, memorable and relatable. Goddamn but do I hate bad grammar, printers and talking on the phone.
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Dreg wrote at 8:10am Mar 11
Right on. Pity you come across as bitter in the final panel, though.
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Noah Rosenrosen wrote at 8:11am Mar 11
mother of Bob, this is amazing. I like how you've cranked the lambaste level from stun to kill. I like it a lot.
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Monkeyman wrote at 8:38am Mar 11
Well... I'm sorry, but the Oatmeal is better drawn and funnier than your comic.
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apokalips is a hater wrote at 8:59am Mar 11
hey you suck.
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jair wrote at 9:07am Mar 11
people are really getting offended by this comic. i don't think this is offensive, is just funny. i imagine that the oatmeal guy will think this is funny too and will make a revenge comic, what would be fun.
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another tyrannosaurus wrote at 9:30am Mar 11
I'm just another tyrannosaurus
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Violator wrote at 9:33am Mar 11
How to make a boring comic full of spite and jelousy = see above.
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where the hell am I? wrote at 9:41am Mar 11
Hey, look, somebody I've never heard of grabbing traffic by mocking a more popular website. You win the internet!
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haters gonna hate wrote at 9:51am Mar 11
http://bit.ly/bdXpqE
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Declan wrote at 9:55am Mar 11
Spot on.
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fidget wrote at 9:58am Mar 11
Your science puns and henny youngman one-liners are lame. Oatmeal smokes you.
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Jack wrote at 9:59am Mar 11
Somewhat true, but it's not like everything here is A+ material either.
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some guy wrote at 10:07am Mar 11
i hate that oatmeal guy but i still read all of his comics. random violence between comics rocks so good. now make fun of xkcd. (that guy's like some weird nerd/douche combo.)
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that same guy later wrote at 10:12am Mar 11
actually, xkcd guy is more like a douche projected onto the nerd axis.
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wow wrote at 10:17am Mar 11
so i just went to oatmeal.com never having been, and holy crap it was like a page full of chain emails and inane lists. what a bunch of populist crap in 50pt font. go play farmville.

Apokalips is way better.

"15 reasons printers were sent from hell"??? seriously?
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fed wrote at 10:24am Mar 11
SHIT IS CASH!

The Oatmeal is gay. It's mostly some loser ranting about how annoying his web design clients are. Argh I hate people giving me money for a job that shouldn't even exist!
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Zac wrote at 10:30am Mar 11
I genuinely dislike you now.
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Stabbins wrote at 10:50am Mar 11
a WELCOMED jab, oatmeal blows at everything except marketing a mediocre product
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louley wrote at 10:55am Mar 11
I don't think that people are offended by this comic ... I think that they are just finding it unfunny, immature, and unnecessarily mean spirited. Which I am inclined to agree with.
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Evan wrote at 11:02am Mar 11
I'm loving this :)
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A Huge Vagina wrote at 11:06am Mar 11
Mean people are so mean! Mean people were mean to me once, and I didn't like it. I don't like seeing mean stuff happen anywhere to anyone. The anonymity of the internet empowers me to finally stand up for those who can't do it themselves. I feel the need to really chastise this cartoonist for my dear friend, whom I have never met or spoken to. I also enjoy commenting on youtube videos.

Shame on you, Apokalips Guy, Shame. On. You.

I hope The Oatmeal Guy is okay. Does anybody know? Somebody should call him. I feel sooo bad. He must be really sad. I remember I was really sad when people were mean to me. Poor guy. I think I'm going to make him a card. Will you guys all sign it??

You're a mean, mean meanieface, Apokalips!
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Hal wrote at 11:09am Mar 11
Petty. And your sh** isn't wasn't ever exactly groundbreaking. Enjoy my page load today. *Unsubscribe*
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Hal? wrote at 11:20am Mar 11
Hal?? Noooo! Come back!
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Team Captain wrote at 11:23am Mar 11
Alright, we're going to be "Team Apokalips"... I'll take... the kid that hit puberty early, the hot chick, and the jocks... Team Oatmeal... you can have the fat kid, Asthmatic Andy, and... the chess team.

Game on.
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Grant wrote at 11:24am Mar 11
Liking retarded stuff, doesn't make you retarded guys. It's okay. No need to get defensive. This is spot on, and I'm loving this website.
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Trey wrote at 11:25am Mar 11
Team Apokalips!!! WOO
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Someone from Argentina wrote at 11:36am Mar 11
It's so crazy but I just open two windows. One was the oatmeal and the other was this window... It was kind of... crazy... I'm still shock for this... wow...
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Job shouldn't exist? wrote at 11:39am Mar 11
Fed, you are retarded. If you think graphic design shouldn't exist you should probably no longer partake in the internet....
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REALITY-IN-YOUR-FACE wrote at 11:45am Mar 11
the oatmeal is an seo/spammer d-bag
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eric wrote at 12:01pm Mar 11
I have never heard of the oatmeal till I just googled it and looked at the page. Absolutely terrible.
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wheres the beef? wrote at 12:12pm Mar 11
How is -this- not reddit/digg bait? I get what you're saying, but it's kind of like when a less famous rapper tries to start "beef" with a more famous one. You're just using Oatmeal so you can get some page views. That's way more obnoxious to me than "whaaaaaaats the deal with printers? Amirite?!"
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yo wrote at 12:21pm Mar 11
HOLY FUCKING CHINESE PEOPLE, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM
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cowboyvenus wrote at 12:32pm Mar 11
LOUD NOISES!!!!!!!!!
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Dolemite wrote at 12:35pm Mar 11
I want the two minutes of my life bac... Oh look! Shiny!!
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Alex wrote at 12:38pm Mar 11
I genuinely enjoyed this, as I have enjoyed all of your comics. Don't listen to everyone else; this is fantastic.
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ob wrote at 12:38pm Mar 11
i love people who are saying "i've never even heard of Apokalips before" and well now??
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Leave some love wrote at 12:48pm Mar 11
fuck 'em, roll with the punches. If oatmeal can't take a joke, well have a cry.
I like most of your comics - this was brave, and my son, fortune favours the bold!
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Jetstream wrote at 1:35pm Mar 11
must say, you come off a lil' jealous. and wtf is myspokalips.. never even heard until someone linked me
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Mike Gioia wrote at 1:39pm Mar 11
I think some of you guys take The Oatmeal a little too seriously.
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fuzzyjedi wrote at 1:42pm Mar 11
i love you mike
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Mike Gioia wrote at 1:49pm Mar 11
I love you too, fuzzyjedi. I love you too.
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cowboyvenus wrote at 1:59pm Mar 11
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE FIGHTING ABOUT!!!!!!!
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John wrote at 2:06pm Mar 11
I'm not particularly offended by this comic. I read Apokalips more often, though I find The Oatmeal funnier. Don't get me wrong, though like both The Oatmeal and Apokalips. However, the old "don't take it so seriously" defense lies only one notch above the "get a life" defense. We just post comments on the internet. You drew an entire WEB COMIC about it.
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slimredninja wrote at 2:08pm Mar 11
Oatmeal is no Morning Squirtz but then neither are you. You are however much better then oatmeal. http://www.morningsquirtz.com/Chester_Molester.html
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magnets wrote at 2:14pm Mar 11
spot on! you get my thumbs up!
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Noah Rosenrosen wrote at 2:33pm Mar 11
Morning Squirtz is horrible. You're doing good, Mike. I thought your Oatmeal of the Oatmeal was awesome and in no way speaks of your insecurities as a webcomicist. It does speak volumes about your tiny penis size, but I think you've come to terms with that already.
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Mike Gioia wrote at 2:38pm Mar 11
Haha, I came to terms with that after those pictures got released on the internet.
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Disappointed wrote at 3:44pm Mar 11
The Oatmeal Guy Responded on Reddit, it doesn't look like there will be a sweet webcomic war. (I can't copy the embedded links, but it is under the Oatmeal vs. Apokalips thread):

In many of my comics I pick topics that everyone can relate to, but I also create a wide variety of others that don't follow that formula. The list format comics are my biggest traffic drivers, but my passion really lies in some of my less-trafficked comics and stories.

I don't understand why, when criticizing a webcomic, the first thing people attack is the artwork. Does Cyanide and happiness become less funny because they're stick figures attached to ovals? What about the fuuuuu rage threads? Or this paintbrushed-but-hilarious masterpiece? Some of my artwork is crappy, yeah, but a lot of it isn't (that goddamn coffee cup took forever to draw). Also, apokalips is no Nicholas Gurewitch, either.

Also, I think in all my webcomics I've only ever used one pie chart. When I create an infographic piece I try to draw things in a way that makes you see it differently, rather than just firing off statistics and showing some silly line graphs.

Reading this comic, I got the impression that the author thinks we're in some kind of competition - that one day someone is going to pin a medal on us for having the best webcomic on the internet. I'd create a retort in comic form, but I'm actually working on a comic about Nikola Tesla right now and all the badassticular stuff he did with electricity, and I'd rather put my energy into that instead. Seems silly to get in a webcomic pissing match when we both could be burning the creative fire on other things. I'm not really familiar with apokalips, but my advice to the author is to just keep churning out content and draw whatever makes you happy.

Lastly, congrats to apokalips for finally getting some reddit upvotes for one of your comics. The only other comic which received a significant amount of upvotes was the one you did about zombies, a topic some might refer to as a "tired internet meme."

-The Oatmeal
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soyjo wrote at 3:46pm Mar 11
Not that you have the comic timing, but man, this is your best comic...
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You should have... wrote at 3:48pm Mar 11
Made fun of The Oatmeal's anybody-can-do-it template of randomly inserting ridiculous activities, adjectives, or similes that have nothing to do with the topic at hand... and how he sneaks in hidden click-advertisements.
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shitty meal wrote at 3:49pm Mar 11
oatmeal blows
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me wrote at 3:55pm Mar 11
u mad
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Mike Gioia wrote at 4:16pm Mar 11
Well I can't say thats not a fair retort.

But ehhh Tesla? I'm not getting in to it again, but thats really another reddit thing too and it's pretty well documented. Also, Kate Beaton covered it pretty thoroughly: http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=61

Ok, done, I'm done.
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Sparklestheunicorn wrote at 11:14pm Mar 11
Well, I totally disagree with you, but whatever, I still love your comic. The people who decided to stop reading are dumb asses. So what you have to stop reading cause Mike has a differing viewpoint? Oh no, someone said something you disagree with, the world is coming to an end!
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Paddy wrote at 12:07am Mar 12
I think Oatmeal's comics are funnier than yours for the most part.

:/

Sorry.
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Argentina here again wrote at 6:46am Mar 12
I really like the Oatmeal and this comic was very funny to me

WHY IS THERE A NEED TO TAKE A SIDE ???

Men... People just loves the titles that has a "vs" in the middle, no matter who is behind
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Mollie wrote at 7:55am Mar 12
What a shame, I used to enjoy this webcomic, but petty name-calling is a huge turnoff. Bad karma, man.
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Anon wrote at 9:03am Mar 12
I'm just here for the ranting!
SCREW YOU MISTERS! (all of you)
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ehh.. wrote at 10:19am Mar 12
I think this is the worst webcomic i've ever seen. Therefore i'm going to spend extra time and effort explaining to the anon world how lame i thought it was!

...actually it was a pretty poor excuse for an oatmeal comic............and i wanted to laugh soo bad.

oh well. same time next week then??
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Joe Blow wrote at 5:49pm Mar 12
You're a douche. The Oatmeal is a lot funnier than your site.
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17 wrote at 12:30pm Mar 13
Is that a shovel in the last panel?
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17 wrote at 12:31pm Mar 13
Oh... digg... i get it
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Teh Devil wrote at 2:33pm Mar 14
Oh man this is so terrible. You suck so much. But I'm not going to give you the satisfaction.

I'm on to you mister Mike! I know your game. You WANT people to hate you. You want to become unpopular. It gets your rocks off when people say they disapprove and will never come back.

So, just to spite you and defy you in the totally way, I'm going to do just the opposite of what you are really want. Here it is following:

I love your site. I love this comic. I think it is the best one yet. I will come back again and again. If you posted nothing else but literally a big f-u to your fans in the form of a giant 6000x60000 pixel gif that said, "Fuck you internet fans you are all fags burn in hell for being so stupid," even then, I would come back and load that 2 gigabyte webcomic every day and comment on how lovely. I will do this until the end of time, so long as there is something on the internet called apokalips. I will find you and consume every byte of content you produce, and even go so far as to buy t-shirts and tell all my friends and family to come visit and buy t-shirts. (Speaking of which, get some damn t-shirts for me to consume already!) And I say this with utmost sincerity, and without any sarcasm. I will name my first child apokalips. Or if it's a girl, Susan apokalips. This is because I sincerely love you Mike with all my heart and soul and not in a gay way but a sincere way that transcends any physical attraction, gay or otherwise. Today, you have earned a #1 fan that will loyal until the end of eternity.

BTW, my name is teh devil. Today, you are made friends of teh devil for the rest of the universe! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
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Mike Gioia wrote at 3:52pm Mar 14
Outright sarcasm or not, that made me happy.
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Allie wrote at 10:15pm Mar 16
The Oatmeal must have giant, adamantium balls to be able to deal with stuff like this...
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1729>69 wrote at 2:22am Mar 21
I think I love you
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The answer to life, the universe, and everything is wrote at 3:40pm Mar 22
42
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Aaron wrote at 11:53pm Mar 22
Eh, I don't find many of your comics funny (sorry, this isn't an attack, just an observation) but I have to agree with you, the guy is a douche. His understandnig of netiquette is dismal (at best).
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Sean Sparks wrote at 5:20pm Mar 26
OMG HE MADE A JOKE/INSULT AT ANOTHER COMIC. I WILL NEVER READ HIM AGAIN! I SAW THIS DONE ON TELEVISION ONCE BY MANY JEWS IN TUXEDOS, AND I VOWED TO NEVER WATCH ANY OF THEM AGAIN. PIGS ARE DELICIOUS. ON AN UNRELATED NOTE, OATMEAL IS DELICIOUS. GOOD TALK.
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that's all she wrote at 9:41pm Mar 28
i made a pun
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B Cravens wrote at 12:42pm Apr 1
That was hysterical! That last frame said it all.
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Nishu Goyal wrote at 9:19am Apr 9
That was a total killer dude.
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Justin wrote at 3:29pm Apr 19
I love how well you hide your jealousy here. What I can't grasp is why everyone on the planet holds a grudge against people who do well in life for a simple a idea or little to no work on their part. Just because oatmeal comics is simplistic in it's nature does not mean it's any less appealing or deserving of it's success. You don't hold a grudge against the people who marketed the slinky do you? An engineer probably accidentally dropped their spring off their workspace or down a flight of steps, found it humorous watching it go, and decided 'You know what? I bet other people would enjoy this too.' I myself give praise to people who can take a simplistic idea and make something of it. Also you're being a bit hypocritical seeing as nearly everyone of your comics is simplistic or relates to people on a basic level. Also as far as your criticisms on Oatmeal's structure, do you honestly believe 3/4 panel comics are the first and only evolution of comic delivery? The nature of everything; comical, dramatic, tragic, etc is constantly evolving. So Oatmeal decided to deliver using a new method, deal with it.
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wow....just wow wrote at 12:40am May 12
*sigh* You did this on purpose. Very clever. The commentary was almost funnier than the strip. /applause
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Bee wrote at 11:49am May 18
Considering The Oatmeal has made me laugh a lot more than you have AND they haven't done this to you, I'd say you're lame.
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Teh Devil wrote at 9:47am May 19
@bee: Considering Apokalips has made me laugh a lot more than you have AND they haven't done this to you, I'd say you're lame.
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Eclipse wrote at 11:14pm May 20
I love Apokalips and Oatmeal, why cant we all just get along
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BekBek wrote at 12:58pm Jul 13
Jealous much?
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Benjamin Kohl wrote at 2:27pm Aug 18
The Oatmeal is quite funny and has a way with words. I actually like the art there. Inman's style is very unique and fits his humor.
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Sausage wrote at 11:18pm Oct 5
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all...
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SuitCase wrote at 7:32pm Oct 14
Hey man, I ripped off your idea. So sorry. A different spin on the same thing, though. http://unfunnythings.tumblr.com/post/theoatmeal
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Mike Gioia wrote at 9:01am Oct 15
@SuitCase - it was fantastic
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Jack wrote at 6:50am Jan 15
LOL that's funny
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Ali wrote at 1:15am Apr 12
I love both yours and The Oatmeal's comics, they make me laugh. If enjoying The Oatmeal makes me a retard, well...okay then, but I find a lot of it humorous. The cool thing about The Oatmeal is he knows he is an imperfect asshole, and freely admits that. I honestly didn't find this comic offensive, but I also found no humor in it whatsoever. The mean bashing of anything is rather childish, whether done on The Oatmeal or by you.
In any case, people shouldn't take this personally...just read the "comic" and move on to the next one.
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Awesome wrote at 3:20am May 3
I approve this comic. I hate, hate, hate Oatmeal. None of it challenges my intellect. You, Apokalips, actually have thought out comics. The Chicken/Egg one? I'm not sure how many understood it on first glance.
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Darren wrote at 3:54pm Jun 28
I thought this was pretty crap, but I thought "Hey, won't knock the whole site till I've seen it all"
If I could go back in time and kill myself from having that notion. This place sucks
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Teh Devil wrote at 8:02am Jun 29
We all do, Darren. We all wish just as much as you do that you could go back in time and kill yourself.
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Empurpled Goatglans wrote at 2:05pm Sep 24
You forgot his patter... 'as [emotion] as a [container] full of [something, usually animals] [verb]ing a [adjective] [noun].
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you ok grant if your still knoking around i think this is there contact
and details,ring them for advice ,tell them netsimsy told you to ring
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Pentaro wrote at 3:36pm Oct 16
This is priceless
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U Jelly? wrote at 5:56am Jul 22
Ooh... Jealous wannabe ranting from behind a screen... Fascinating...
"And there seems as if there is no intelligent life anywhere." -Buzz Lightyear
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