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Thursday, December 10, 2009
Comics I Love
ApokaFriends
Legal Mumbo Jumbo
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License.This means you can do pretty much anything with these comics except sell them. Please link back when hotlinking images.
Who Makes This?
Mike Gioia does. And my friends Jason, Alex, Theo and twin bro Anj help out. I'm 38 years old, live in New York City and have been drawing comics since high school. Check the about page for more info.
Apokalips Everywhere
Check us out at the following services:
What Say You (120)
Rubber bullets, dang it! The way I reckon, if someone had thought to buy a pack, we wouldn't all be standing here, now would we?
Little did Gerald know, Diane had both barrels loaded.
"Can't wait to get away during the honeymoon. Everytime we try to have sex, the neighbors come knocking to see if everything is fine. BANG BANG BANG!"
He was Buck, She was Slug. But she knew with a little work, he wouldn't be so scattered. Besides she always wanted a little Buck in her.
a shotgun wedding the shotgun wedding at a shotgun wedding
The wedding was a must. They were running out of time before the little revolver began to show
thought bubble above the groom: "I couldve sworn they were blanks."
Meryl could hardly concentrate on the nuptials, wondering who would get loaded at the reception.
They said she was out of his caliber, and they were right: the marriage backfired in divorce less than a year later.
Do you, Steve, lock and load Joan as your lawful wedded wife?
After their marriage turned sour, Rob used his wife to shoot himself.
UPDATED CAPTION: Do you, Steve, lock and load Joan as your lawfully wielded weapon?
1. The reception was a blast.
2. If it was a Jewish wedding the male would be a sawn-off.
First he gets loaded, then he goes off half-cocked. Now we have to shell out for a shotgun wedding.
I wish the priest would speed things up a bit, both barrels are loaded, my hammer is cocked and I'm ready to fire off some rounds like a 21 gun salute!
.. And now.. You may kiss your bride away
Do you Mr. Fancy Straw, take Ms. Loopy Straw as your lawfully wedded wife?
I now pronounce you man and wife. Do you have the choke tube?
Sometime between "dearly beloaded" and "holey matrimoney," she dropped her pellet, and he took off like a shot.
And to protest the shotgun wedding, the groom refused to wear pants.
You may now shoot the bride.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith & Wesson
Do you take this woman to be your lawfully-wedded wife till you are pried from Charlton Heston's cold, dead hands?
It's a shotgun wedding. That's the joke.
After a short honeymoon she started firing out the bb's
"shoot now, or forever hold your peace..." were the priests last words
I don't have a caption for this, I'm not clever enough. Congrats on making it to 100 comics though!
My personal faves from reading the above comments were Kory's ans Maya's first one.
@JDTaylor: they're not married yet, why are their last names already the same?
The question is, will he be giving her the over-under or the pump.
Now to the reception to get loaded and end the night with a bang.
And the now, the groom may shoot the bride!
argh -the
This is gonna be 10x harder than I had originally thought.
The priest refused to marry them, as the state denied same gauge marriages...
Ahh...this gives new meaning to Shot Gun Wedding.
Seemingly as quickly as he blew his load, he found himself a married man.
"Why is she marrying so soon? She shouldn't jump the gun..."
'
You may now cock the bride
All right, i'm gonna keep this short
They soon realized after, that the house was gonna be a little hard to maintain without looking like a swizz cheese.
It wasn't until the honeymoon that Brett realized he was firing blanks.
Muzzle Tov!
It's frustrating. It -was- a love match, but people do talk.
Hours later, the two would find out that they had, in fact, consecutive serial numbers.
If I may give you a tip for later, don't shoot all over her face. You may kiss the bride now.
Dick Cheney's dream
Charlton Heston used to love playing "Dress-up" with his shotguns as a boy on Saturday mornings...
If only they would have had gun safety training rather than abstinence education, Linda wouldn't have a round in the chamber.
Popped champagne corks are definitely not the most dangerous objects at this reception...
Their first duel
Groom: "psst... that slingshot in the front row looks like he's aiming at me..."
Bride: "Ugh...why is my ex here? Don't worry he's harmless...."
Groom: "Harmless? First the red rider bebe gun, NOW the slingshot? God, did you sleep with every hasbeen in the firing range?"
Harold didn't want to, but Maybel's father had a barrelful of sex aimed square at his back.
(speech bubble over priest): "Well son, do you feel lucky?"
My favorites are Anfro's and Bobby's...
"Pa insisted on a shotgun wedding."
"They never had kids... it turned out he was shooting blanks"
Billy never thought that a night of passionate lovemaking to Guns N' Rosaries "Sweet Child of Mine" would end up being fulfilled so literally...
Since Emma's family was Catholic, Billy would get to try real gun oil for communion instead of the synthetic stuff...
Speak now or forever hold your piece.
People didn't expect what the repercussions would be of further relaxing gun control laws.
i love this
AHHH!!! IM A SHOTGUN!! GETTING MARRIED!! OH MAN!!
"Ironically, 'Shotgun' was his surname. It was only after the pregnancy was discovered that the rumors began."
needless to say, when the kids were born, the battles for the front seat on family trips could grow quite heated
The priest knew this marriage had a shot
Little did Buck know, but his new bride's baby would be part AK-47. She had always had a weak spot for those foreign guys.
Tragically, many shotgun marriages were broken up forced conscription was instituted to continue the War on Wabbits.
THE NEXT STEP AFTER GAY MARRIAGE!!!1! DONT LET YOUR GUNS TURN GAY OR TRANSVESTITE GAY. OR BECOME PREACHERS EITHER.
Why I see absolutely no reason why 3 coffee stirrers would be standing around in this arrangement. None at all. There isn't even a pun or anything.
And what a strange banner that someone hung at this event. So verbose, and not at all pertaining to a wedding.
Oh well, time to ask jeeves for some porn.
"if I had a comment for everytime I asked for a 'toon caption, I'd have a sh*tload of comments"
togakangaroo: I'm not sure what contest you're in or even how to structure a response to that, but you've won something.... you've won something.
"...to wield and to cock, loaded and empty, 'til hunting season do you part...
He knew there was no turning back the minute her father mentioned "sawed-off shotguns."
When the baby comes out in 3-months and is a single-barrel, the groom will be so disappointed. (Mostly in his failed attempts to shoot himself.)
They were really offended at the term "shotgun wedding". They'd been planning for months.
Due to civil rights persecution in the USA they had to have the marriage in Zimbabwe, where their kind is accepted and loved.
hopefully no one is trigger happy.
Just then, in a formulaic fashion the charmingly eccentric Hugh Glock burst into the church.
He had never dated someone of that caliber, but he definitely knew she was the one when he saw her pump action.
The winner is already here: "You may now cock the bride." Genius!
"You may now... Oh, who are we kidding??"
Even before the reception, little did everyone know that Rob and Dee were both loaded.
she married him even though it only takes one pump for him to blow is load
The first non-coerced shotgun wedding.
Winchester's dad always told him if he was going to off double pumped and half-cocked to turn the safety on or else you might regret it!
Random observation that has nothing to do with the contest: I just now noticed that there are upside down volcanoes and pterodactyls on the bottom of this page.
Jim married Susan, knowing he'd never compare to her previous lover, who bored her out to 8 gauge. His 12 would never fill the gap.
Love, Commitment & Two Smoking Barrels
en-GAUGE-ment
An annulment was only the right thing to do, after all; it was originally a Shotgun wedding.
Buck wanted to name him Skeeter, not realizing it was a .22 in the chamber...
Mary didn't know what how to react after seeing Jim's gun collection.
She insisted that they marry immediately after she found out he loaded her. He still regrets they didn't use a kevlar that night.
"You may now bang the bride."
Benelli suddenly realized he had pulled the trigger too soon.
They were young and in love, so, why not give it a shot?
They blew each other's minds, so decided to give marriage a shot.
Anxious, he knew she would backfire on the honeymoon.
"...in sickness and in health, until death do others part."
Rumor has it she was already loaded.
They got loaded in Vegas.
Many barrels to get loaded at the reception!
"...speak now or forever lock your hammer."
Marriage blows.
Her parents still didn't think he was up to her caliber.
Her father couldn't accept the fact that he was only semi-automatic.
Her father soon realized he wasn't losing a daughter, but gaining a new gun.
there were no survivors.
"I, Seymour Butts, take you Farrah Muzzle, to be my wife, to have and to hold...."
No pre-conceptions please.
Do you Daisy take Winchester to be your lawful wedded husband? To have and to pump? In Dismantling and Cleaning? Til death do you discharge?
*shotgun cock*
It's nice to see a young couple who have given this so much thought.
I AM A DINOSAUR AND THEREFORE DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS COMIC BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE GUNS IN DINOSAUR TIMES WHAT IS THIS CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN I DON'T THINK I CAN USE ONE BECAUSE I HAVE SHORT ARMS WITHOUT OPPOSABLE DIGITS
Thanks for all the submissions guys! Closing it off now. I'll post the winners tomorrow and the new comic on Tuesday this week.
"Honey, this preacher looks like the guy that killed Hemingway."
Something in Dave's diorama told me that there was a small chance he knew I got his daughter pregnant.
I thought they were tuning forks.... The comments make much more sense after I figured out that they were shotguns...
Well, it's too late, but I was going to say something about baby pipe-organs. oh well.
When i say shotgun, you say wedding!
Lock, Stock and 2 smoking newly-weds
the last 1 is pretty good 2 :-D
Thought bubble above grooms head: Man I knew I should have been loaded for this.
Thought bubble above brides head: I sure hope he is not shooting blanks.
Thought bubble above priests head: I hope he doesn't remember stroking my barrel.
(groom's speech bubble):
"oh my gosh that shotgun is wearing a dress!
I bought a whole box of magnums for the honeymoon...nudge nudge.
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